The I.T. Life

So, right now, life is pretty boaring. Im feeling latley that I should go back to church, but, I don’t know. I don’t know if im scared or lazy, but, I just don’t. I know I use Beth as a excuse. And in part its true. I cant go to church here because, weekends are with her. Honestly I don’t know if that bothers me. Im listning to one of my favorite songs latley, hey there delilah by play white t’s. Its a beutiful song. Its one of thoese slow acoustic songs about a girl. It makes you think, about life, and love. For me, God too. I found out that I failed the test at HB studios. I really want to sit down with them, and figure out why. I know it may seem silly but, I want to know what I need to do to improve my skills. Personally I dont think that test was very fair but oh well. I know 1 person from my class passed the test and is working there, me and 1 other failed. That 1 person isnt the smartest in the class, or anything. So why?
Beth tells me that she is applying at Convergys. And that if she doesnt get in the medical section, she will get tuesday and thursday off. So, what will happen then? Ill stay home on the weekends, and start going to church? Ill never see her. I know im being depressing right now but, life is that way sometimes. She doesnt want to leave home, she doesnt want to leave trenton. And sadly, I hate the fact that I want her to. I wish life was simple. My hamster has a easy life. He has a house, food, water bottle, and a wheel. And once or twice a day, a big hand takes him from his comfy cage and puts him in a ball. He them runs all over the basement. Ones hes tired, he goes in his house for food and some sleep. He doesnt have to worry about a job, or traveling, or life. I found out today another guy I went to college with is going out west. Sometimes Ide like to do that. Maybe not calgary, but, in the westerly direction. I have too much here, friends, family, and connections. I cant go. Even if Beth wanted I think I would have a hard time packing up. I wish life was eaysier sometimes but its not. And its looking like I have a long hard time up ahead. The only thing I can hope for is that Beth, someday, when she is ready, decides to move out, and, maybe closer to me. Well, im getting good and depressed, and I dont even remember why I started ranting. I know I had some topic but, oh well.